The Battle Belongs to the Lord

I am a pack-rat. I admit it. You just never know when you might need something. You want the instruction booklet for that clock radio we bought 5 years ago? I’ve got it. Instructions for that clock radio we got rid of 7 years ago? Well, um, I probably have that too.

This week, however, I have been decidedly un-pack-ratty. The school my daughter attends is having its annual garage sale. Tomorrow I will take my fourth car-load of stuff to donate. Such bold measures are not without consequences. Car-load number two included a car booster seat. Just after unloading, I went to get my daughter and two friends to take to gymnastics. One of the friends still needs to use a booster seat but didn’t have hers with her. Well, I went right back to the pile of stuff I just dropped off, retrieved the booster seat and away we went. (I did re-donate it with car-load number three.) It’s enough to send me back into pack-rattiness.

Why do I keep things? Part of it is prudence. The Bible commends such storing up. Saving up during times of plenty to see you through times of want is wise.

Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. Proverbs 6:6-8

However, part of it is also selfishness and lack of trust in God’s provision. It is selfish because I let my stuff sit around gathering dust in my crawl space, or worse, deteriorating to the point where it is of no use to anyone, “just in case,” rather than letting it be of use to someone else. It is a lack of trust in God’s provision because by keeping stuff, I am telling God “I don’t believe you can provide for me in the future so I am hanging on to this stuff so I can provide for myself.”

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:25-27

Where is the balance? If any of you figure it out, please let me know. In the meantime, “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” and that’s a good place to start.

I came across this poem by Julie Stoner in First Things magazine (Dec. 2009). It put words to how I often feel about the way our culture, both within and without the church, celebrates Christmas.

Hush that anguished hymn you’re humming:
“Come, O Come, Emmanuel.”
Trumpet Christmas! Fix his coming
firmly at “The First Nowell.”

He’s already come in glory!
Why plead, “Savior, come at last”?
Let’s talk Christmas! Tell a story
safely in the distant past.

Drown out John the Baptist. Edit
out “Prepare! Make straight the way!”
Cut to Christmas! Buy on credit.
Square things up another day.

Advent’s dreary. Let’s start living
Christmas now! Wear red and green!
While we’re at it, skip Thanksgiving!
Deck the halls at Halloween!

Then, when the Incarnate Verb
overnight becomes passé,
carry Christmas to the curb.
Pack the Prince of Peace away.

Advent is supposed to be a time of preparing for Christmas. I don’t mean the decorating, present buying, or Christmas party after Christmas party. I mean a time of preparing our hearts for Christ’s coming. On Christmas Christ entered our world as God incarnate. He also wants to enter each of our hearts if we let Him. He is coming again, which should motivate us to “live a life worthy of our calling.” (Ephesians 4:1) Instead of using Advent to allow God to change us, we like to be comfortable with the little baby Jesus. He is so cute and sleeps so peacefully. He doesn’t ask anything of us. Let’s just sing about the Baby in the manger. Everybody loves babies. We don’t want to hear about how that little Baby grew up, challenged the status quo, died for our sins and rose again, ascended into heaven and is coming again to judge the world. No, facing those realities would require stepping outside our comfort zone. So we run back to the safety of “Christmas” and all its trappings.

My prayer for this Advent and Christmas season is that I come away changed in some way by encountering Christ in a new way. How about you?

“Growth is recognizing that we are totally dependent on God and also having confidence in His ability to provide.” Rodney Orr, quoted in Worldwide Challenge Magazine, Nov/Dec. 2009.

I came across this quotation in Campus Crusade’s bi-monthly magazine over Thanksgiving. I think it sums up nicely what God has been teaching me recently, especially as I study Isaiah. On our family trip back east over Thanksgiving, God gave me several opportunities to put it into practice.

We had only a 70 minute layover in Minneapolis, yet our outgoing flight was delayed by an hour. The pilot did what he could to get us to Minneapolis as quickly as possible, but we still had only about 15 mins. (5 if you count them closing the doors 10 mins. before scheduled departure) to get clear across the airport to our connecting flight. And, I was still not cleared by the doctor to do any running or heavy exertion. We headed towards our gate as quickly as possible while my husband double-checked the monitors. Our flight was delayed an hour. Not long enough to make us get into Philly too late, but long enough for us to grab some lunch and make it to our gate without a mad dash. We had no control over the situation, we were in God’s hands, but He provided.

Similarly, we had no seat assignments for our return flights. The computer showed the flights as being full. We wondered if we would even be able to get home that day. Yet again, God provided. When we got to the gate for each flight, they had boarding passes waiting for us. We got home on schedule. It took all I had to choose to trust God and not worry about all the “what if” scenarios. But there was great freedom in not losing myself in worry and stress over something I did not have any control over.

I did not pass all the tests God put before me over Thanksgiving. I had to troubleshoot a subtle but frustrating problem with my parents’ network. It was not until after I finally solved it that I realized I had not once thought to bring the problem before God and ask for wisdom.

Nevertheless, by God’s grace, I pray I continue to depend on God more and more and trust in His provision. For He is a good God who knows how to give good gifts to His children. (Mt. 7:11)

It has been two and a half weeks since my surgery. Any thoughts that this surgery might be as quick and easy as the last one were put to rest within 24 hours. It was hard both physically and emotionally. Physically, there was more pain and discomfort and the pain medicine zonked me out. Emotionally, this was the final surgery. What I have now I was stuck with. I’m still not sure I’m completely happy with the results. Things will evolve over the next few weeks and months and I need to face the reality that my expectations may not be realistic.

My drains came out last Tuesday and since then I have felt much better. I am cleared to resume light aerobic activity after next Tuesday, the three-week mark.

As I study Isaiah in my weekly Precepts Bible study, I see God repeatedly impressing on His people that He is sufficient. They are not to trust their military might or the capabilities of the nations around them as potential allies against the Assyrians. These past few weeks, God took away the things I like to trust in—my strength, my productivity, my self-reliance, my intellect—and I had to decide, would I trust Him and still worship Him or would I wallow in self-pity? It took the whole two weeks for me to come around. God is graciously restoring those things to me slowly. May I not forget the lesson, but learn to depend on Him more and more.

Thank you all for your prayers. God is faithful. Please continue to pray for complete healing and that I can become comfortable with the results of the surgery.

This is the short devotional I sent out this month with my worship planning. Our Pastor has been doing a series on the Psalms of Ascents (Psalm 120-134). Yesterday he preached on Psalm 125.

Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore. (Psalm 125:1-2

This past summer I participated in a Bible study using Beth Moore’s study on the Psalms of Ascent. I highly recommend this study. It quickly became one of my favorite Beth Moore studies. Here is what she has to say about Psalm 125.

Even if our security is in something God has given us—our gifts, talents, loved ones, church family, consistent victory, passion for His Word—our seemingly secure mountain will fall into the sea. We can grow secure in the favor God has shown us, but God’s favor and His person are not synonymous. If our trust is in manifestations of God’s favor rather than God Himself, we will crumble like dry clay when He calls us to walk a distance of our journeys entirely by faith and not by sight.

I am reminded of Job. He is an excellent example of someone finding his security in God Himself, not in the manifestations of God’s favor. I find that I cannot rest secure in God Himself if I don’t know Him. I value my Bible study time because through it I get to know God better.

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. (Eph 1:17)

Do you really know God, or simply know about Him? Where does your security lie?

I know that I am not God, but all too often my actions and attitudes belie my secret desire to be like God. I want to know the future; I want to be in control; I want things my way. Isn’t wanting to be like God what got Adam and Eve in trouble in the first place?

God had to remind me this week that I am not God, He is. This summer was not the summer I had planned. I figured the reconstruction would be done by now and I could get on with enjoying all the blessings of our all too fleeting summer in Montana. I hadn’t planned on 2 surgeries to set me back. I certainly didn’t like the uncertainty of when the second surgery would be. I like to know what is going to happen, when. I feel in control that way. I think I can be God of my little universe. I was getting grumpy and impatient.

God reminded me first to be thankful. My glass really is half-full. It is probably well over half-full, but I was only looking at the empty space. He also reminded me He is in control; He has a purpose in all this and that purpose is good, because He is good. I need to trust Him and His plan.

May [God, the glorious Father] give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. Eph. 1:17b (NIV)

It all started so innocently three years ago. I decided to start participating in a Precepts Bible Study of I Samuel with a group of ladies who met every Wednesday morning. Precepts studies are not your normal Bible studies. They are inductive Bible studies on steroids, similar to Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship’s manuscript studies. You spend a lot of time learning what scripture is saying (observation) before looking at what it means (interpretation), then putting it together to apply it to your life (application). After I Samuel, we continued on into II Samuel/I Chronicles, followed by the Kings & Prophets series which took us through the rest of Chronicles and Kings as well as 9 minor prophets. Three years later we will finish the final lesson tomorrow. And yes, we are having a party.

So what? What have I learned? As the words of a song by Denver & the Mile High Orchestra put it, “It’s not enough to read your Bible, if you’re never moved to change.” The study materials don’t neglect application and are open-ended enough to allow God to take you where He wants. My fears that I would gain a whole lot of head knowledge but no life change were unfounded.

From Saul, I learned that it’s an insult to God to assume He is making a mistake when He gives you a task you don’t think you are humanly capable of completing. My natural response is to be hiding among the baggage, along side Saul.

From David, I learned to patiently wait on God’s timing, to trust God when I’d rather take matters into my own hands.

I gained a greater appreciation for what the Temple represented and the importance that God’s presence, the Shekinah glory, held for Israel. Yet, even God’s presence didn’t keep them from straying. Fast forward to the New Testament and the temple imagery of Christians as individuals and the church as a whole takes on much more significance.

I learned godly principles of leadership and worship through positive & negative examples.

I saw God’s incredible love for His people, even when they rejected Him. But it was a tough love. He gave them many chances to repent, and sometimes they did for a generation, but eventually His holiness required that they be taken into captivity and the temple destroyed. I saw the importance of the first commandment (Thou shalt have no other God’s before me), how God will not share His glory with another, how He desires we worship and trust Him and Him alone. These are not things you can easily grasp by quoting a verse here and a story there; you have to absorb the big picture.

I have a much better understanding of the geography, surrounding nations, and history of the Middle East. Edom, Moab, and Gilead all mean something to me now. I can even spell Nebbakanezer, Nebucadneezer, Nebuchadnezzar. (But I still don’t know how to pronounce “Habakkuk.”) The Psalms carry much more meaning because I know the backstory so much better.

I had not spent much time in the minor prophets before this. Like the Psalms, reading them in their historical context adds greater insight. While I don’t agree with the Dispensational perspective of the Precept materials, it was good to become familiar with their supporting arguments, to examine the prophets messages closely, and to wrestle with what scripture says about the relationship between Israel and the Church, the old and new covenants.

God has truly blessed me through these last 3 years of study. It has been a privilege to be able to devote so much time to studying scripture and learning about God. I would not have been able to face a diagnosis of breast cancer as well three years ago.

I read the following paragraph recently in a newsletter from World Harvest Mission with which a couple of friends of ours serve. It refers to a devastating ebola outbreak a year ago in Uganda where many, including a national doctor lost their lives. It was written by a medical missionary couple who worked in the midst of the outbreak.

There is a weighty glory to surviving [this], a redemption only God can give. Even our personal survival constitutes a sort of burden to be considered. It is good to be alive, and God has been glorified by the substantial, tangible story of our deliverance, and by the concrete good that has emerged from the loss. This good and glory anchor us in new ways to our Lord, and require us to examine our purpose for being preserved [in this place]. Let us all live each new day in the gravity of the gift that has been given to us.

I took out specific references to their situation because this quotation really struck a chord with me and my cancer. By all accounts, things should not have turned out as well as they have so far. There are no guarantees of the future, but by all accounts God’s not finished with me yet. As I have been forced to face the fragility of life, I pray that I do not squander the gift of time that God has given to me, whether it be only one day or 50 more years.

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15-16)

I did not grow up observing Lent. It is not part of the Baptist tradition. In high school it was often treated as a diet plan: give up candy for Lent and maybe I’ll lose a little weight. Yes, I fell into that trap too. Over the years I have come to appreciate the real purpose of Lent: a time of fasting and reflection to prepare our hearts to celebrate Easter.
This Lent, our pastor is focusing on the prayers of Jesus in his sermons. I have certainly been humbled by everyone who tells me they have been praying for me. I am so thankful they are better pray-ers than I. This Lent, I want to focus on devoting more time to intentional prayer and on memorizing Ephesians 3:15-21.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

May God bless you this Lenten season.

This morning as I was perusing some blogs, BlogHero wondered whether small coincidences are something more than mere “coincidences.” Hmm. A little later I had my morning prayer time and the Psalm for the day was Psalm 50. Verse 23 says “He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God.” Sounds good. Next, I began preparing for next Hymn Sunday. The sermon will be based on prayers of thanksgiving, even when the circumstances don’t seem to warrant thankfulness. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
I have much to be thankful for in spite of (or perhaps because of) my breast cancer. I am thankful for

• the pain I felt that led me to discover the cancer. Breast cancer normally does not involve pain.
• all the people God placed in the right place to offer advice and give me confidence I was making good decisions.
• for all the prayers and support. If I had any doubt God answered prayer before, I certainly don’t now.
• for the cancer not having spread to the lymph nodes and for encouraging lab reports following surgery.
• for excellent medical care.
• for Charles’ love and support.
• for the amazing way God designed our bodies to heal.
• for all God taught me in recent years through Precepts Bible study, sermons, and other sources that prepared me to face this in His strength.
• for all God is teaching me now through this.

So, how about you? What are you thankful for?